to my sweet, Sadie

so bold and so true [admirer of the color blue!]. I never dreamed I'd be loving an amazing 6-year-old like you! You celebrated your golden birthday with pottery painting & cupcakes with family & friends!

[snapshot]

Last night, at dinner you asked if you could marry me. Ha! We all had a great laugh. Weeks earlier you had asked about marrying dad, too. You are so thoughtful and engaging with those around you. Yet, you never miss a chance to be silly.

Tonight, you told me: "My friends tell me that their Mom is the best, but I tell them that's not true because YOU are! I'd take all my babies[dolls], zhu zhu's & books and SQUISH them together and that love would not be as much as I love you!"

In 28 days, you'll start the 1st grade. I'm so excited to watch the ways you blossom. You love learning & the culture of school. You currently love to hear about life before you were born. You ponder, proclaim and ask the best questions. You ask about Heaven. Being a Veteranarian one day. And you hold your friends close to your heart like rare gems -- because they truly are.

You're an amazing big sister. You love to teach Nini. Make sure she's safe. And you're quick to forgive when she pushes your buttons. Remember always: Nini wants to do what you do & have what you have because you're a great mentor and friend to her.

Side thought: As you grow, remember that everyone shows love in their own unique way -- not always how you'd expect. 'Singing their song' or 'going fishing' is the key to each person feeling love from you, too!

You chose 'Dumbo' tonight for your bedtime story. You 'ooohh'ed' & 'aawww'ed' as you watched the way the mama and baby elephant were mistreated. Then your face lit up in a big grin as the story ended with justice and a happy family back together! I'm amazed by the depth you see at your age.

You are heading places, to shake, move, build and embrace your unique story by understanding and loving others!

thoughts, feelings & repeat...

Today is my first full day back from my 2-week vacation in MN. My Dad flew to Denver and drove the girls and myself to MN. The girls and I had a great time seeing loved ones! John flew into Mnpls from Denver and we spent the last few days of the trip together in MN, before driving back here to Denver -- what treasured days they were! (Thank you, Dad, for your help & the priceless memories!) And. Thank you, Mom [& Dad], House's, Family and Friends for your hospitality, meals & [mostly] your time! We love you all. We're so grateful for the unique flavor you each add to our lives!

It was a wonderful time in the comfort of familiararity. But there were some sad moments that still linger here with me today as I feel caught somewhere between Denver and Mnpls. My sadness is linked to a story that is not mine to tell. But, mine to part-take in. Because, I'm reminded once again -- we're here to love & be loved. To listen and wait and encourage.

I feel a bit helpless and overwhelmed on the behalf of some precious family members. I feel like I want to build shelves in my living room and donate piles of extra stuff to goodwill. But. Those desires aren't really fruitful endevers for today, I think? Maybe, tonight, at 2am? ;)

Instead, I'm choosing to take pictures of the girls, chat at ease with my hubby & fold laundry [always theraputic? right?]! Because, so many things are out of my control. Yet. Today is mine to treasure; along with the people in it.

Here's a verse that has been rolling around in my heart the past few days:

It is said of Jesus that he was "a man of sorrows and familiar with suffering" (Isaiah 53:3). -Deeper Still blog

take heart; aftermath [by hillsong united]

I'm a firm believer that music was created to help bring healing & freedom...

This song is a new favorite: take heart; aftermath [by hillsong united]

There is a light. It burns brighter than the sun. He steals the night. And casts no shadow.

There is hope.

Should oceans rise and mountains fall. He never fails.

So take heart.

Let His love lead us through the night.

Hold on to hope.

And take courage again.

In death by love. The fallen world was overcome. He wears the scars of our freedom.

In His Name.

All our fears are swept away. He never fails. All our troubles. All our tears.

God our hope.

He has overcome. All our failure. And all our fear. God our love.

He has overcome.

All our heartache. And all our pain. God our healer. He has overcome.

God our justice.

God our grace.

God our freedom.

God our refuge. God our strength. God is with us.

He has overcome.

There was a time when these kinds of christian writings held no meaning in my life. I would read them like a familiar comic strip in the sunday paper. Today at 29, God has held me through some incredibly hard experiences. He brought me to the end of myself...

I'm so glad that He did {and does so daily!}.

"The sky and the earth won't last forever, but my words will."
-Matthew 24:35
Contemporary English Version (CEV)

a late night, hello!

My wonderful Dad, my Girls and I rolled into Minneapolis tonight after two days on the road; starting in Denver - our new home as of 6 months ago! THANK YOU, Dad for helping us get here! John had to stay back to tend to his job. :( Thankfully, he'll be catching a flight here at the tail end of this 2-week-trip in MN!

It's 'all kinds of warm fuzzies' being with family, anticipating seeing some great friends & planning for a long weekend at my grandparents cabin! And. I must say, I'm loving the lush, green, lake, humid smell here in my grand 'ol hometown. Colorado is stunning - however, the smell is quite 'dusty' and dry. Makes for a lovely 90 degrees, though! ;)

Just before I left CO, John and I became: First Aide & CPR certified to fulfill our foster care licensing process! Now, what's left? So glad you asked! ;) Our homestudy & physicals! That's it!! We are told that our homestudy may be assigned to us as soon as within this month!? Or longer. They are waiting on our background checks & finger prints. And. Our actual license date? December 2011. Maybe?

Now, to be totally honest here, there is a small chance we may not be approved as a *foster-to-adoption family, like any/every couple who apply. But, we feel this is the path we are to be taking. So. We're doing our best to leave this in God's hands [and time frame] while we trust! It's an exciting time!

Tonight, my Mom surprised me with two HUGE bags of very cute 0-12 mos. boy clothes for our future foster son! It was our own sweet little 'baby shower'! I'm so touched! I have the most thoughtful Mom!

*foster-to-adoption: caring for children who are not legally free to be adopted. In the event that no kin commit to adopt the foster child; and parental rights are terminated - the foster child is then able to pursue a possible adoption by his/her foster parents. A common saying in this line of adoption: "It depends?" ;)

**Our heart in this first and foremost is to honor birth parents and each child by coming alongside as a part of their helpful team to aide in bringing the child(ren) home to their parent(s) or to a safe family member.


(one of the adorable outfits from my Mom!)

"As a mother, my job is to take care of what is possible and trust God with the impossible." -Ruth Bell Graham

an "ah - Ha" moment

I was talking the other day with a friend (Cousin) about how parenting seems to be a whole new ball game when children go off to Kindergarten [and beyond... gulp!] We felt we had "100% parental control" when our children were/are Pre-school age... they were/are usually within arms reach.

I mentioned the other night that our foster care class taught on parenting. It was GREAT! And it was Mainly, about how to teach our children self discipline, especially the ability to problem solve and be aware of the result of their choices.

Well, John and I had a big "ah HA!" moment during this class! [This may be something everyone else is already doing? Especially Teachers?...] ha!

One of the speakers told a story about his daughter, who was 3 at the time. We'll call the daughter, Kara and the dad, Garry. Garry was letting Kara play unsupervised at 9 pm. Garry knew this was not ideal in the first place. [note: He is a child psychologist, ha!] Kara walked into the living room holding an armful of oreo's! In that moment, Garry realized that he had never told Kara to make a choice for herself - in her whole life! Garry told Kara: "You may choose to keep one cookie and put the rest back! OR You may choose to put all of the cookies back!" Thus, fully expecting his daughter to make 1 of 2 choices. Kara stood there for a moment and her eyes rolled high as if to try and look into her brain, Garry said. [LOL!] Kara then took her cookie collection back into the kitchen... AND, returned with just one! [copy write: Garry L. Landreth, Ph.D.]

Garry calls this his oreo cookie theory. And he claims it works on all ages as long as the parents always follow through, of course. And, the consequences [in the moment] can be called just that; giving the parent an extra few seconds [or hours] to think of one.

In just 48 hours we've seen some great quick obedience with our girls by following the oreo cookie theory.

For Sadie, we currently have a reward chart, too. It's just a plane piece of paper labeled "kindness & quick obedience". When I cover the whole thing with 'X's' Sadie earns an outfit for her build-a-bear! She's almost halfway in just a week! *warning* She does try to tell me when she's obeying so she can get an 'X' and we've just started implementing that from now on 'only mom or dad can give her an 'X' sometimes and that when she catches herself doing the right thing she can be happy knowing that she'll grow up to be a person who does the right thing even without a reward because that's what matters most to God'.

For Lauren, the oreo cookie theory has quite possibly saved what was becoming a big get-out-of-bed-at-bedtime mess. In just 48 hours, she stays. in. bed. WOW.

One final thought that this speaker shared was on the topic of transparency. In short, he told a story about his daughter [again] at age 5. One afternoon he yelled at her and they accomplished nothing. That night, at bedtime he told her that he was sorry. He went on to say that when he apologized their relationship was restored. As it was broken "over" before the apology. So powerful...

I thought I'd share this just incase it may help you, too?

Happy Memorial Weekend!!!

my girls

Foster to Adopt | Final Class

Last night was the end of the every Thursday night classes that lasted 8 weeks [at 3 hours each]! The theme was parenting/discipline.

We listened to three Speakers (one via video)!

The Topic was how to help our children make the right choices, problem solve, have good character, be responcible, etc. Great, great tools to have in our back pocket(s)!

We left with our '24 hours pre-training completed' certificate in hand!!! So exciting! Comparable to hitting the 20 week mark in pregnancy, I think!

Another strange biological similarity - getting 'finger-printed' was like having blood drawn at a prenatal clinic visit... sort of! [Ironic. While we were getting our finger prints done, a GLOWING couple walked in holding their baby who they were planning to adopt... beautiful.]

Bonus: we've made some great new friends in the past two months!!

"Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat." -Mother Teresa