transparency

It was Bedtime.

9:04 pm.

Sadie: "Will you rub my back?"

Me: "Sure."

[silence].

Me: "I love your Daddy, I'm sorry you had to see us fight tonight, Mommy was wrong to not use my manners with Daddy."

Sadie: "Do you and Daddy always love me? I will keep making good choices."

Me: "Oh, Sadie, Mommy and Daddy love you no matter what kind of choices you make. Both Mommy and Daddy always love you, no matter what. Sometimes, Mommy's and Daddy's make poor choices and we need forgiveness."

Me: "Will you forgive me?"

Sadie: "Yes, I do."

Sadie: "Will God come back now?"

[my heart suddenly clogged my throat!]

I said: "Oh Hunny, God is always with us. He loves us no matter what we do."

Sadie: "Ok!"



As I sit here and write this at 12:30 AM. I am still processing this monumental moment with my very-aware-precious-four-year-old daughter. I am humbled once again, that God trusts me to raise my two children. Really. It hits me like a truck sometimes!!!

I wish now, that I would have explained more about the beauty of forgiveness and unconditional love, and of course NOT argued with my husband.

But, the truth is, I sin.

And perfection is unattainable.

I rest in knowing that I was transparent.

And I pray that I remember the way God spoke to me through my preschooler.

I hope as a parent that I create an atmosphere that allows room for failure, so that my children (and me and my husband!) can operate in God's endless mercy and grace and be sharpened as a result.

Sadie went on with our conversation in the most happy and forgiving way (not holding onto one ounce of anger towards me). Sadie asked how God made the earth. Then, that turned into me telling Sadie that 'God made flowers just to see you smile'.

wow.

I am reminded once again, that this is the way my Heavenly Father wants to relate to me.