Tuesday, February 22, 2011

mom, dad & much sugar

We've been in our new state nearly 8 weeks, now. The sparkle and flash as well as the 'new car smell' have faded. Normal life has come home to stay at our new address. Which is great. The past comfort of being known well and knowing well are memories [kept close to my heart in the form of mail sent, emails written & phone calls made] THAT ARE paired by current adventures with fresh faces, idea's and points in my gps -- our new community.

It's generally been a quiet time. So quiet, at times, I can hear important thoughts and manage time well. A unique season. I feel like I've been given a new pair of eyes... no patterns formed yet; observations for the most part. And. I have no real complaints other than snow removal delays or the fact that both of our vehicles have become traveling coat closets due to the rapid change in temperature here. Alas, a small price to pay to have a front row seat to the Rockies!!

The past few weeks we have been anywhere from -15 degrees w/snow to 65 degrees w/no snow! Can we say muddy entry way! But YAY to Spring in February. I'm happy with how J and I have met many wonderful people at Buggie's school, our church, our family here, and EVEN our current friends who had moved here from MN a few years ago. Truly the start of many meaningful friendships! God's handy work!

So. There is nothing like having your dear parents fly in from the frozen tundra [which is currently the midwest], to come share in the excitement of the fresh details of our new little corner of the world. What a gift. Time slowed to a dream like pace as we ate out [4 times at chick-fil-a, alone! ha!], drove into the mountains and watched tv together [+ much more!!] just because we could. If you ever want vacation tips; ask my folks who really know how to kick back - be present - and soak in their surroundings!

Thank you for the visit, Mom & Dad. We love you! And we'll be 'riding the wave' of these warm, happy vibes for quite a while...

Now, that I've collected my thoughts... it's REALLY time to catch some 'Zzzzzzzz's'. Buggie and Nini share a bed. Long story short: big sis had growing pains and [accidentally] kicked lil sis in the face. 1 hour ordeal total. And my sweet J has decided to sleep in the middle of the bed, tonight. Bubble = popped. But, I am deeply grateful. Really. This is an honor...

Friday, February 11, 2011

Legacy | Family

When I was little I loved to draw. I used to draw pictures of big families. I would lay out a big sheet of white paper on the kitchen table and then dump out all of my colored pencils. First, I would draw the Mom and Dad on one side of the page. Then I would draw the house in the middle... Then, I would draw about EIGHT children on the other side. I'd write their names above each person. Looking back, I laugh and think how I was a bit obsessed with wishing that I had more brothers and sisters. But, really, I believe I had an awareness [as a child] of how the love in a family was something great that God dreamed up... and how it all starts at home. Who we are. What we believe. How we relate to others.

And, even, how our legacy lives on after our death.

I think of the verse: "For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." -Romans 8:38-39

With God, nomatter the size of one's family; we can be a part of His family always. In Gods' family there is Joy [Love & Hope] In Life. And. In Death.

When John and I were first married we talked about how having four children would be a nice even amount. As you know, we have two [amazing, if I don't say so myself] daughters. And. Three [Miscarried Babies] children living in Heaven. John and I are coming up on the anniversary of our 'Third Miscarried Baby' turning ONE in Heaven -- March 11th -- also my 29th Birthday.

Also, my Uncle D, will soon be celebrating his One year anniversary in Heaven [on February 27th].

And, Our sweet Niece, L, is turning ONE on Sunday [February 13th]!

I celebrate each of our Heaven-homed children quietly in my heart on the day we lost them. For me, it's helped me to forget how old they would each be if they had been born. I look at their death's as THEIR actual Birthday's - in Heaven. Because I truly believe that's where they are. Playing and celebrating with Jesus and other family members who are up there with them.

So, I'd like to take this moment to Remember how old my FIVE children are:

Sadie Elizabeth: 5 yrs. (DOB: 6/6/05)
*David: 4 yrs. (BIH: 5/25/06)
*Grace: 3 yrs. (BIH: 7/25/07)
Lauren Faith: 2 yrs. (DOB: 8/16/08)
*Matthew: 1 yr. (BIH: 3/11/10)

*John and I never knew the gender of our Miscarried Babies, we picked their names because of what each name means.

Here are two articles I've written [for others] about John and I's 'Heaven-Homed-Children':

My husband and I have two children on earth and three we have yet to meet, living in heaven. We lost all three babies in the first trimester of pregnancy. We look back at the time of each pregnancy as three blocks of time filled with great joy. They are three unique children who left an eternal impact in our life. We like to believe that each child left a 'gift' with my husband and I. Our first: the ability to see others' pain in a new way. Our second: the ability to endure a trial. Our third: the ability to let go and put more value in eternal matters. God has used all three miscarried babies to draw my husband and I closer to Him, our friends, family and each other. As well as give us a clearer vision for our family which will include adoption. This and other encouragement can be read here: http://seekinghishope.blogspot.com/



My husband and I have walked through the heartache of loosing three children through three separate miscarriages. Each baby was lost before gestational week 12. I wondered: Was my child a boy or a girl? How did my baby look? Most importantly: My heart ached to know my child and have others be touched by his/her life the same ways as my children living here on earth. I thought about this verse: Psalm 139:13-16

“13For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother's womb. 14I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well. 15My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth; 16Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; And in Your book were all written. The days that were ordained for me, When as yet there was not one of them.”

God revealed to me how He as well as the community of Heaven knew my child. My heaven-homed children are walking out their calling in the place we [who love God] will all one day settle and be given our never ending tasks in the glory filled city. I gave each of our baby’s a meaningful name. As time went on I had a more eternal perspective—a priceless gift from God. I loved deeper. I cherished the people in my life more. I was more thankful for each moment. My children who live in heaven made my heart more tender and more aware of how to comfort others who grieve. My miscarried babies are in fact healthy, happy children living in heaven who have and will continue to impact the lives of many here on earth. They have an identity.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

This | and That

Here are some [cell phone]snapshots from the past week, which include: cousin fun, baking, crafting and day-to-day moments! Life here fits like a glove. The pain of 2010 has really become a distant memory with all the new joy 2011 has brought! We're getting settled with family and friends, church and community stuff! John continue's to work from home for Mayo as well as go to school; and I'm embracing and loving domestic[wife/mom/homemaker] life more everyday! We miss our MN loved ones and have become well aquainted with the postal workers at our local PO--We love to send and recieve snail mail!