the.daily.grind

I'm gonna write this

as I think it.

my days are long

but so rich.

I hold out for more

but I desperately need

to be captive in my present

state.

I feel like I am on

the sidelines.

when will I

get to be

all in.

Then I remember

that God is at work

as quiet waters

run deep.

my personal dreams

I'll save.

they'll be best in

their right time.

Ideal family time

is first and foremost

my desire.

hope for a

regular schedule.

I'll press through.

cheering on my husband

and reering my daughters

97% of the time

is my goal

today.

and that is enough.

I love my family.

and I love

my friends.

I poor myself into them

all.

as best as I

know how.

this is what life

is all about.

giving.

loving.

loving God.

more importantly.

God loving me.

God forgiving me.

daily.

So I can try my best to

mirror His

Love.

to everyone

my path

crosses.

To encourage

and not criticize.

to be aware

of a way to help.

a smile to give.

a hug needed.

a listening ear.

I'm thankful to

remember this.

now.

now...

what was I

so upset

about?

One.year.old

Last Sunday, August 16th. Miss Lauren Faith House turned One. Many of our family and closest friends gathered. It was perfect!

dreams

The other day I heard someone say: "Knowing is half the battle."

And that pretty well sums up where I am at, right now.

So many dreams.

I am antsy. I'm researching and reading. And getting too consumed.

Trying to hard to make too much happen too soon? Maybe.

I'm trying.

Trying hard to stay balanced.

John and I have been 'stirring the pot' of our life for a little over two years now.

Plans for new careers, adopted children, school, missions help... new, new, new.

We're so anxious for what's ahead... but trying hard not to dismiss what's right in front of us.

After all, I must remember these things will only be right and good if they come to pass in God's timing.

So.

We wait.

And we trust.

Because we must.

For my own sanity purposes. I am going to write down some times when God showed up in [seemingly impossible] situations during the 6 + years that John and I have been married.

2003: My job ended 6 weeks before my new one started. God brought me a 6 week temporary Nanny job!

2007: John needed a new job. He was hired at Mayo Clinic as a web video editor. This field is nearly impossible to get into, let alone a good paying position. God found both!

2008: Lauren was born. Healthy and full term [36 weeks along.] After 2 years of wondering if we would be able to have another baby... God came on the scene.

I know there are countless times when God has intervened... These are just some that stick out to me.

My prayer tonight:

That God would help me (and you) to be confident as I (we) wait. To be diligent. To trust that He will open doors. And to never forget just how much He loves me (us).

Amen.

today

Today was one of those days where several things I have been hoping for, for quite some time, happened all at once. It's been a flood of "ah ha!" moments and many smiles.

The morning started off with a play-date with a new friend. We have tons in common, our kids played wonderfully! Then it was off to a wading pool that is free and just 5 minutes away from our house! And then our annual block party, where we met new neighbors and got reaquainted with neighbors we breifly met when we lived here before. Turns out there are some GREAT families just a few feet from my own door step!

God is so good! I am beginning to think [know] that God is at work a lot more than I realize.

[Side note: We lived in this same house 2 years ago. Moved to Rochester. Rented it out. Left Rochester. Moved back into this house. Also. We attend a different church than we did when we lived here before.]

So, life is all new. Once again.

And, I love it.

I did not always love change. But now I embrace it.

Because, I see more and more everyday (on a good day, I should say) how valuable it is. How irreplaceable and unique it is. I'll never get it back. Today, that is.

This past week, I've been asking God to show me all the little things [actually big things] that He does.

Just in this last week:

I have been privileged enough to give//receive a genuine hug and smile from the sweet Vietnamese woman who does my eyebrow waxing and pedicures. I got to know her, and hear her story... She spent 5 years away from her husband (with two young children) while he was obtaining their passage into the US. She grew up on a coffee and tea farm in Vietnam.

The man at the post office remembered Sadie and gave her stickers because she was crying.

I received two very heartfelt thank you cards in the mail.

I received a call from a new friend to join with her and start up a 'connections group' at our church.

I found and am reading a book about a woman who was in the peace corps in Africa. She became friends with//assisted a midwife in a small rural village. The story is fascinating and really feeds the 'missionary' in me.

I met a new friend who has many things in common with myself and my family. Not just coincidence, but a God thing, I think.

I was able to befriend a neighbor just 3 doors down (hey, isn't that a band name?) who is a new mom and feeling quite isolated.

Later this week, I will get to go out for dinner with two women who have been//are like sisters to me for about 5 years now.

My family is all within 15 minutes of my home. We love to see them, and they love to babysit. Peeeer-fection!

My husband is amazing. Get's up at 4 AM Monday through Thursday to provide for us.

My girls are healthy.

We are healthy.

We have a home.

Two cars.

And food.

Doctors.

[This could go on all night...]

I share all this simply as a reminder to myself, that God is always at work.

So, when I feel overwhelmed and feel like nothing is going right. I'll try hard to remember this list.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A dear friend of mine recently reminded me the other day, to live in today.

To take in all that is right in front of me.

And little by little, I'm getting it.

a hero

This man is my Grandpa Kramer. My Mom's Dad. He is, for so many reasons, my hero. He served in the Korean war as a Medic. I have never heard him complain. Not even once. He thoroughly enjoys life. He works hard and has created a beautiful life for his family [and received Gods blessings]. He is wise, and thankful in a way that only a soldier is.

The depths of his sacrifice, [and every other soldier] I believe, are unfathomable to those of us who have not been there. He narrowly missed death several times. He stared the possibility of death in the face each time he crossed battle fields to drag and/or carry fellow wounded soldiers to safety. I have heard a few stories and will spare you the graphic details.

When his platoon was dropped off at their station my Grandpa prayed a simple prayer. Something like this: "Dear God, I, Ralph Kramer, your faithful servant, vow to serve my country well. If you spare my life, I will be a good citizen and a good man. Amen."

God answered his prayer.

And, my Grandpa made good on his word.

(I believe this type of praying is a really good thing!)

My Grandpa and Grandma got engaged just before my Grandpa was drafted. I believe my Grandpa was in the service for 2 years. While my Grandpa was in active duty, my Grandma rarely heard from a him; Just a few letters, I believe. They were married not long after my Grandpa was home.

Just about 10 months after they got married, my mom was born.

I'm just pondering this for the first time tonight!

Leave WAR. Get Married. Have a baby.

All. In. One. Year.

amazing.

I am so thankful that God spared my Grandpa's life out on those battle fields. I often wonder why some die and some don't... But, I know I am thankful that God had me in mind even then in 1953 on a battle field in Korea. God had a plan for my Grandpa's life. For his children. And for his children's children.

I'm thankful tonight that God can see the bigger picture.