Sunday, September 26, 2010

waiting [with hope]

So much of life is waiting. I often wonder why the timing of one event doesn't always back right up to the next new endeavor. Why are there so many grey area's of... silence?

The last 3 years have been a lot of grey for John and I. But looking back on it, I see how much we've grown in charactor and stregnth as individuals and as a couple after being exposed to our selfishness and pride [and continuing to be]. I see how all the uncertainties have given us [silence] the ability to see clearly the dream God has placed in our heart - as well as a vision for our family.

Quiet times are uncomfortable, but I'm learning to embrace them and the people who so graciously stay by our side as we walk through our shadowy valley.

Our shadowy valley = no solid job, death of loved ones, broken relationships & financial strain.

Some trials last 2 months, some 2 years, some a lifetime. Trials = eternal perspective. The best is yet to come. We have hope and rich blessings [family, friends, beautiful children] surrounding us everyday.

Hope looks like unfailing love.

God is love.

Just over the last few months I have experienced healing and the ability to see color in the grey times. As well as not judge the way others face their trials. I credit all this to a loving God and the fact that putting my trust in Him has proven I can't do life in my own stregnth. But HE can. What a relief!

A few months ago, a sweet friend who I don't see often emailed me saying that she had been praying for me. That was such a reminder that God loves me and sees my situation. I love how when we're willing, Gods love moves through us.

Solid hope.

A while back I had a dream. John was at the grill in the backyard and the girls were a bit older and running around with their brother! He had black hair and a great laugh! I woke up just a moment later, and smiled.

I like to think that God gives us our passion [dream] and then a few idea's - often while walking through our shadowy valley. Followed by various opportunities to support anothers dream. And then one day an open door in the right time for our own.

"3. We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. 4. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. 5. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love."

-Romans 5:3-5 (New Living Translation)

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